Moon Woman Rising

More of Less

"You know, this is this thing you do when you get really busy. When you have tons on your plate, you start to pile on more," my sweetheart observed. I opened my mouth to object, but knew it was true. 

"Well, why would I do that? That just sounds crazy", I wondered out loud. 

He just shook his head at the nuttiness of it.

"Honey, I have no idea." 

In my last post, I wrote about feeling as though "my best just isn't good enough right now" and in the Full Moon days since, I've come to understand the nature of that feeling more clearly and what I suspected is indeed true - its not that I need to supply more, but rather the demand is too high. The candy is coming faster down the line than Lucy and Ethel can get those wrappers on (who doesn't love Lucy?)

I feel like I hear a lot of folks say "Do less" and it sounds so simple doesn't it? Doing less sounds as if you don't have to do anything at all. But, and I think any busy woman will agree, its just not that easy. Why? Because for most of us, we feel as though we have no control over the demand, and so, we are stuck trying to let those bon-bons go past us and resist the urge to wrap them. That takes a lot of energy, so even in not doing the work, we often feel depleted from all that not doing. 

Our Sister Moon moves from Aquarius to Pisces today, so perhaps in honor of those dreamy, utopian energies, I am proposing a shift of thinking for myself - rather than doing less or more right now, I am going to start with order itself. Rather than react to what's coming down the line, I will place an order my supply can fulfill. True, sometimes we have no control over what shows up in our lives - from golden opportunities to family emergencies - sometime we must react to what is thrown into the fold. But often the too-high demands come from ourselves. 

Saving the why I do this for another time, I am choosing to put less on my plate. Put in a smaller order. Demand less. In fact, I am going demand exactly what I have in me to supply right now. It feels like a radical act and I think I know why - because it honors exactly where I am at right now. It honors my abilities, my desires, my needs. I don't think this will always be easy. It means saying "NO" more often (the horror!) It means sitting with contentment. It means, and this is a hard one, being real with myself and letting go of judgement and expectations.

I suspect it also means a new level of everyday peace. It means that I believe my energies are sacred and worth honoring. 

And I believe that about your energies too. 

Full Moon Letter for May 25, 2013

Dear beautiful beings,

In a few days, well into spring and cruising speedily into the warmer months, a full Sister Moon will come as close as possible to the earth. I think this is why many of us are feeling an abundance of energies lately. This moon isn't whispering her insights, but rather coming in close to give us a good talking to. Called a Super Moon because of this close proximity, it can feel a bit like we are being shouted at. Last night I was hearing it all loud and clear, in the wee hours of the morning, when my eyes desperately wanted sleep, but my mind was more than receptive to all the deep unconscious unearthings these Full Moons bring. When the energies get this rich and full (i.e. overwhelming), its tempting to pull the blankets over our heads and try to ignore the messages, but then we would miss out on the authenticity of our own wisdom, because of course, the messages aren't coming from outside us, but rather from deep within. Sister Moon just shines the light.

Sometimes these messages come at unexpected times and can flash across the screens of our minds in an instant. Sometimes its an in-articulated feeling, while at other times we say something aloud that rings of truth, yet we haven't actually felt the sentiment in our hearts yet. This Full Moon is in Sagittarius and this mutable fire sign is full of ideas, energy and intuition. Sagittarius is a truth-loving and truth-telling sign, often known for telling it like it is, in a tact-be-damned way. So pay attention to your words over the next week, as they may ring truer than you know. 

The other day, I heard myself say something I didn't initially understand. It was in a difficult moment of pure overwhelming anxiety, when not one thing, but many little things had finally added up to an overcrowding in my mind and heart. A loved one asked with concern "What's wrong?" and without missing a beat I said "My best just isn't good enough right now" and as soon as I said it, I knew it was true, but didn't exactly know what that meant. It has taken me a few days of sitting with those words, saying them over and over again in my mind, before I came to understand the truth in them. There was a pearl of wisdom in those words and it was not that I am not good enough. I realized that I am doing my best and yet given the intensity of demands, schedules and responsibilities,  it still feels as though its not enough. I began to see it as a supply-and-demand issue: the demand is more than I can supply and the answer isn't to supply more, but rather, to create less demand. A revelation, a relief and my deeper truth  - all from those words uttered without thought or filter. 

I suppose in many ways, its no wonder than many of us are feeling the pressures of life squeeze in right now. Spring is such a rich time of growth. Remember back in January and February when we were setting intentions for the months to come in 2013? You may be starting to see, or better yet, feel, the effects of those intentions coming to fruition - blooming and blossoming into being. It was author Anais Nin who said "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Staying tight is painful, but blossoming is not without risk, not without growing pains. Spring is the time of moving through the blossoming and into the bloom. 

This (Super) Sister Moon is on your side. Listen up, she says. Or better yet, listen inside.

Gratitude

Joining the lovely Taryn of Wooly Moss Roots for the soul charging practice of counting your blessings from the past week.

My recent gratitudes and blessings...

:: that little scrap of paper with one of my favorite quotes. Its moved with me from place to place and always helps me feel settled.

:: the way the buds on the trees are poised to burst, the funny mating song of male cardinals, seeing our neighborhood come to life with daffodils, crocus and tulips everywhere. 

:: homemade coconut toasted almonds. I've got quite a sweet tooth (but love eating healthy, whole foods) and these are so delicious.

:: slowly unpacking and getting our home in order - it sure does take awhile doesn't it? Everyday we try and accomplish something, even if its just one box. It gives me hope that we will get there eventually. 

:: the kindness of neighbors. One of our new neighbords stopped by with a bottle of wine and welcomed us to the neighborhood. We feel so loved! 

:: taking my sweet baby girl to the beach for the first time. 

:: living within walking distance of a library and all those wonderful books. I confess, I've read a book or two on an e-reader, but nothing compares to turning over each page of a book.

:: nursing my babe for over 3 months. This is so huge for me, as I can only nurse from one breast. I had a lumpectomy in my 20s that severed my ducts on one side, so I can only use the one. I call it Megaboob. Its hasn't been easy, but Megaboob rose to the challen ge, doing double time and nourishing my little one. We have survived blocked ducts, milk blisters and more. Megaboob, I salute you. 

:: cabbage. I think I ate a whole head by myself last night. Sauteed with olive oil and lots of fresh dill, I just can't just enough.

:: my new music obsession: Nigerian blues from the 1970s. Gets me moving and shakin'. 

:: seeing one of my former yoga students rise above her challenges and become a yoga teacher, at the tender age of 18. So proud of you Aria!

:: switching the woolens for linens. Ok, not quite yet, but soon!

X, Aja

Home is here

When we found out there was a chance we would have to move, I was a month away from my due date. It was just a few days before Thanksgiving and the first thing I thought was what are we going to do? But I also held out hope that it would work out and we could stay. I loved our apartment. We didn't own it, we were renters, or tenants as they say out here on the east coast, but that didn't lessen our love of the place. Filled with art and objects and most importantly, the humans and animals I loved most, it was home. Leaving it, especially at 9 months pregnant, seemed overwhelmingly at best and unimaginable at worst. 

I don't take the spaces I live in for granted. I love the power a space holds over its inhabitants, how a space can hold its own memories. Living in the boiler room of an old rubber mill, our space certainly held its own memories. We had added to them with our own three years worth of experiences and were planning on a homebirth. Already feeling primal late in my pregnancy, the threat of having to move made me feel even more like a mama bear wanting to protect my den. In the end, we had to move because the apartment was sold to new owners. In the first few weeks of the new year and with our daughter just days old, we went and looked at houses and tried to imagine our new little family in these spaces.

I had heard people say that when you walk into the right house for you, you just know. You just know if its the right fit, if its meant to be. Part of me has always thought that sort of sentiment was a privilege.  I once tallied up all the houses I lived in while growing up - at least 10 different houses before I was out on my own. Moving that much, it was more about trying to make the spaces feel like home, no matter what is was or what was happening within it. When we pulled up to this house, I saw the historical marker sign first. Nellie Barlow House, 1906. A woman's name, which I thought was unique. I wondered who she was. Once inside, I had that feeling...I just knew. 

Living in a home that is safe, peaceful and comfortable is no small feat - it takes so many ingredients coming together. Although its the people inside the home that contribute most to this sense of soulful living, the space itself plays an important role. 

Just days after moving in, an older gentleman from our insurance company came by to do some inspections. Ed introduced himself and told us how he grew up in the neighborhood and as a young boy, would come over to this very house and get watched by the nanny who lived in with the Barlow family. He had such fond memories of the home and left telling us "that house just has a good feel to it." When we had a painter come by to talk about possibly painting some rooms, he asked if we were going to leave the front door red and I said absolutely. He said "oh good, its got great feng shui." Friends and family have come by and everyone walks in and after minutes of being in the house, they remark at the good vibes. I feel them too. Sometimes when I am up at the middle of the night with the baby, I think I hear sounds, like the house is sharing its memories. I hear parties and laughter and music. All joyous things. 

Cleansing Your Space

Even with the greatest vibes in a home, I still like to cleanse a new space. Its also good to cleanse a space at seasonal holidays or really anytime you feel you need a fresh start within a space. In the native american tradition, you can burn dried sage, or I really love pinon pine. Amber is a great stone to use for its cleansing properties - its absorbs negative energy. Lavender, thyme and rosemary works well as sacred herbs to cleanses spaces. I like to put out bowls of lavender in each room. If you are sensitive to incense smoke, aroma-therapeutic sprays work great too. Just combine thyme and sage essential oils with some water in a spray bottle and spritz throughout your home.

Of course, the best way to ensure good vibes into a space is to create them yourself - enjoy meals with loved ones, sing and dance your way through each space, fill your home with laughter. 

Spring Equinox March 20 2013

The Spring Equinox (also called the Vernal Equinox) is Wednesday, March 20.

The light and dark are in balance and this day marks the beginning of spring. Its a time of rebirth, growth, and renewal. Its a time to celebrate the goddess Ēostre (also called Ostara). The name Easter derived from the Saxon Ēostre, a spring-time goddess of fertility and divinity of the radiant dawn, of upspringing light, a spectacle that brings joy and blessing. Seeds, eggs, and hares are symbols of the spring equinox and of Eostre.

Eggs, seeds and hares are a symbols of rebirth, growth and fertility, all characteristics of spring-time. For cultures deeply rooted in the earth cycles and traditions, the first day of spring was a triumph of survival, having survived the cold and famine of winter months. 

For those still connected with the earth and her rhythms, the Spring Equinox is a joyful, exciting time!

Here are some ideas for celebrating the Equinox and bringing the joy of the changing seasons into your life:

1. Clean and clear spaces of growth - your home, the garden, your altar. 

2. Make space to cultivate fertile creative energy. Growing and creating, whether it is babies, a garden, art, and anything made with our hands is done with the energy of our fertile creative energy. 

3. Plant and bless seeds, either inside the home or in warmer areas where the frost has passes, outside in your garden or planters.

4. Dye eggs using all natural dyes from the earth.

5. The Spring Equinox is about balance - enjoy this balance in the body through movement, dance or yoga postures that invite the practice of balance.

6. Grow sprouts at home - delicious, easy and perfect for these still chilly days of early spring.

7. Take a walk in nature and find early flowers and branches with just formed buds.

8. Clean up litter in your neighborhood with a group of friends and neighbors.

9. Personal meditation: Celebrate rebirth - what parts of you and your life need to be given new life and awareness? 

10. Create a meal in honor of the equinox - ham and dairy, such as eggs and milk are traditions, as are fresh greens such as dandelion greens, nettles, and asparagus. Begin your meal with a poem honoring spring.

Gratitude

After a long break (I think folks call it a baby-moon?) its good to be back joining Wooly Moss Roots in sharing my recent gratitudes from the past week. 

Through out the week, I've been grateful for...

:: the first smiles and babbles from Viela Roy, who is ten weeks old now. She is such a joy and I really enjoy everything I learn from being her mama.

:: a free moment, even though its late in the evening, to be writing this list. My little one is fast asleep and the house is quiet.

:: our new home! Right at the end of my pregnancy, it unexpectedly came up that we would have to move from our current place, so although it was crazy timing, there was a silver lining and we got lucky, having stumbled upon an old, beautiful historic home that we love. Ever since moving to New England, I always loved the old historic homes with their name placards that had old names like Jedediah and Ebenezier. This house was owned by Nellie Barlow and built in 1906 - the vibes of this home are so good. And I can't help but LOVE that it has a woman's name on the outside. 

:: my tummy tea blend that I have been drinking all week - fennel tea with fresh lemon and a slice of ginger. I was never a fan of fennel until my pregnancy, now I love it!

:: some really wonderful herbal consultations recently - where my clients have reported great results and success. I love helping people heal.

:: my new blog look! Its still a work in process but I love where its headed (and hope you do too)

:: sunshine on cold, crisp days. I took a walk today and felt like my skin was drinking in the sun.

:: my Dad, who is now known around here as Poppi, flying in for a visit to help us with some projects around the new house before we move in next week. 

:: a recent splurge: my new Addi Click set of knitting needles. I took the plunge and decided to make the investment and I am so glad I did. Now I have all the needle sizes I need, after some really frustrating moments of needing a size I didn't have.

:: my sweetheart: for reminding me that its ok to leave dirty dishes in the sink over night (which drives me nuts), for his reluctant but faithful support of my cloth diapering addiction, for being able to soothe our over-tired babe and get her to sleep tonight after my mama tricks weren't working, and for just being a solid, reliable, and awesome dude.

:: chamomile, a common, but undervalued herb that is wonderful for frayed nerves, upset tummies and great for kiddos.

:: the New Moon tomorrow! Its a fresh start, a new beginning and another opportunity to show up at our best.

 

Emotional Protection

Recently, I've been thinking about protection - emotional, spiritual, energetic. Its come up for me personally in my life, and also for many of the women I work with in herbal medicine, which isn't surprising given that when we are sapped and drained of our emotional and spiritual energy, often our bodies respond by letting us know energetically. I find that many women cope for long periods of time, even years, with emotionally draining situations and relationships, and unfortunately become very good at it, because they have innate strength and stamina, however it is being directed outwards instead of inwards. Protecting ourselves takes a great deal of strength as well, but with a much happier and healthier result. So where do we start?

I have spent a good portion of my adult life tackling a difficult family relationship, only to find that it has gotten to a place where I must now focus my energy on protecting myself from its negative effects. I have tried, in all the ways I know how, to make the situation work for me, and I have finally come to a place where I had to look the relationship squarely in the eye. I think I had been avoiding doing that for some time, because I was afraid of what I might see.

See the truth. It took mustering up the courage, which I did slowly and steadily, to finally look at this relationship for what it was and how it affected me. I think prior to doing this, it was actually easier to look at the illusion of what I wished it was, rather than its truth. The truth hasn't been easy - it hurts, but without it, I don't think I could have moved forward with healing.

Set your boundaries. Once I knew what I was facing, I had to decide what my personal boundaries where. For me, this was the step in which I set the intention to be open hearted, but clear on what I would and would not accept from this relationship. This step takes a certain fierceness and committment, which again, are not always easy. But once I went looking for those traits inside myself, I was surprised to find them.

Protect yourself. Just because we do hard emotional work, it doesn't always mean we can affect change in others. Despite my own best efforts to be honest and truthful and communicate clear boundaries, I have still found myself in positions where I must protect myself from negative situations and people. Protecting yourself can take many forms - speaking up, getting support, or replacing those negative situations or relationships with joyful, nourishing ones.

Fill your well. I have come to find that the best form of protection is maintaining a full well so that I have the energy and stamina to work through those first two steps. I think they have come to be the most important aspects of emotional protection. When we are nourished in a sacred, soulful way in our everyday lives - through community, health, healing and spiritual support - we have what it takes to face the truth and meet it with our own boundaries in place. We are then able to protect ourselves and our hearts.

 

Reflection

With the first Full Moon of the lunar year this past week, this seems a good time to reflect - on where I have been and where I am headed. And where have I been? Well, although its been quiet here on the blog, life has been full of sound. Specifically, the first coos and gurgles from my now two month old daughter. The past two months have flown by and what a journey into mamahood. Everyday I learn something new, about Viela, about myself and about life. Everyday I am grateful and marvel at my good fortune. And reminding myself of how lucky I am, even at 2am when I am groggy and sleep deprived, is a practice - meaning, its not always easy to feel gratitude, but I do it with intention and the more I do it, the better I get at it. 

But most of the time its very easy...

The winter months are a good time to love on a baby, all warm and snuggled up together. And she gets to wear the cutest hats, like the one above made by my dear friend Taryn of Wooly Moss Roots. 

When we are not snuggling, I am trying figuring out cloth diapering, knitting way too many baby accoutrements, and thinking about how to balance work, home and mamahood in a way that feels nourishing. I have started back meeting with clients for herbal medicine consultations and have some exciting plans for Moon Woman Rising in the works. We are also in the middle of a move, having bought our first home this month. I suppose things could not be any busier, and yet it all feels right. And although I wouldn't recommend everyone buy a home and moving with a newborn, there is something exciting about starting our family in our new home. 

As I look ahead at the New Moons and Full Moons to come, grateful for their energy and guidance, I feel so excited for everything ahead. And always, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I look ahead at my journey in life and see things I have not always had, but were always in my deepest wishes and desires. Seemingly simple things, like a family to love and a home to feel safe in, and I know that these things are not so simple and not so easily acquired. So there is gratitude, always.

The Ice Moon

☾ The Ice Moon, Full Moon, February 25 in Virgo 5:26pm EST

Also called: the Storm Moon, Horning Moon, Snow Moon, Hunger Moon, Wild Moon, and Big Winter Moon.

In Celtic and Roman cultures, February was a time of purification, initiation and cleansing. This is also a good time to rededicate yourself to your chosen sacred and spiritual path. Purification and cleansing can support your dedication, perhaps through cleaning your house or sacred altar space and smudging your home. Emotionally cleanse by accepting responsibility for past mistakes, forgiving yourself and moving forward with future plans for living your life soulfully. Rededicate yourself not through brute force, but through a conversation with the heart. Rededicate yourself to your soul purpose.

Herbs for this month are cedar, myrrh and sage - all great for smudging. Sacred stones: Amethyst, Jasper.

Follow the Moon

Why follow the moon? Here's a few reasons why following the moon cycles can be nourishing and inspiring:

1. The moon's energy waxes and wanes - paying attention to the moon cycles allows us to work with this energy rather than against it.

2. Its comforting "...even when the moon looks like it's waning...it's actually never changing shape. Don't ever forget that.” -Ai Yazawa, Nana, Vol. 14

3. Its promotes a sense of balance - most of us follow the sun closely, even if we do not realize it. We are happy on days when the sun shines bright and look forward to its warmth and energy. The moon provides a sense of balance to this energy - it reflects your internal world; the subconscious, your inner desires and deepest dreams. This internal world deserves to be seen and heard.

4. Its a natural rhythm - many people feel a deep sense of connection with the moon and can intuitively feel our ancient connection to this natural "calendar".

5. Women especially, have a special connection to the moon - some finding that their menstrual cycle, or "moon cycle" is in tune with the moon. Some women find that they bleed with the Full Moon, others, with the New Moon.

6. The moon changes astrological signs about every 2 1/2 days or so, adding a deeper level to the astrological guidance of our sun signs. 

7. New Moon energy provides the opportunity to release and let go. Tuning into this energy allows us to clear the slate, making room for the sacred work we hope to do in the world

8. Full Moon energy often shines a light on areas of our selves or lives that need examination, sometimes going deep into our subconscious to call forth our most authentic selves.

9. Simple, everyday ritual - following the moon cycles provides the opportunity for simple rituals, such as journaling at the Full Moon, lighting a candle to release negative energy, or coming together with others for a New Moon intention setting circle - helping us invite the sacred into our lives. 

10. “When hope is fleeting, stop for a moment and visualize, in a sky of silver, the crescent of a lavender moon. Imagine it -- delicate, slim, precise, like a paper-thin slice from a cabochon jewel. It may not be very useful, but it is beautiful. And sometimes it is enough.” -Vera Nazarian

X.Aja