"You know, this is this thing you do when you get really busy. When you have tons on your plate, you start to pile on more," my sweetheart observed. I opened my mouth to object, but knew it was true.
"Well, why would I do that? That just sounds crazy", I wondered out loud.
He just shook his head at the nuttiness of it.
"Honey, I have no idea."
In my last post, I wrote about feeling as though "my best just isn't good enough right now" and in the Full Moon days since, I've come to understand the nature of that feeling more clearly and what I suspected is indeed true - its not that I need to supply more, but rather the demand is too high. The candy is coming faster down the line than Lucy and Ethel can get those wrappers on (who doesn't love Lucy?)
I feel like I hear a lot of folks say "Do less" and it sounds so simple doesn't it? Doing less sounds as if you don't have to do anything at all. But, and I think any busy woman will agree, its just not that easy. Why? Because for most of us, we feel as though we have no control over the demand, and so, we are stuck trying to let those bon-bons go past us and resist the urge to wrap them. That takes a lot of energy, so even in not doing the work, we often feel depleted from all that not doing.
Our Sister Moon moves from Aquarius to Pisces today, so perhaps in honor of those dreamy, utopian energies, I am proposing a shift of thinking for myself - rather than doing less or more right now, I am going to start with order itself. Rather than react to what's coming down the line, I will place an order my supply can fulfill. True, sometimes we have no control over what shows up in our lives - from golden opportunities to family emergencies - sometime we must react to what is thrown into the fold. But often the too-high demands come from ourselves.
Saving the why I do this for another time, I am choosing to put less on my plate. Put in a smaller order. Demand less. In fact, I am going demand exactly what I have in me to supply right now. It feels like a radical act and I think I know why - because it honors exactly where I am at right now. It honors my abilities, my desires, my needs. I don't think this will always be easy. It means saying "NO" more often (the horror!) It means sitting with contentment. It means, and this is a hard one, being real with myself and letting go of judgement and expectations.
I suspect it also means a new level of everyday peace. It means that I believe my energies are sacred and worth honoring.
And I believe that about your energies too.